If You Are Single
If You are Young, Single, and Seeking a Spouse I write these words as a father, and as an older Christian writing for the younger. Please read these words with all diligence, and look to God for
the pure wisdom that comes from Him only. “Even a child (young person) is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right” (Prov. 20:11). Your actions as a teenager and as a young person point to the direction your life is heading. The thoughts you think leave their mark on your being; so read God’s Word slowly and often to be filled with pure thoughts. The words you speak leave their mark on your being; so meditate on God’s Word constantly to speak words of grace. The deeds you do leave their mark on your being; so keep God’s Word in your heart for power to do good and shun all sin. Such thoughts, words and deeds will guide the direction of your life. You will be filled with the Holy Spirit and be led by Him.
When the Holy Spirit leads you, He leads you into the battle, and through the battle. (Matt. 4:1) What is the battle? The battle is for your thought-life, a battle against evil thoughts. “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life” (Prov. 4:23, New King James Version). When your thoughts are pure, your words and deeds will be pure. Your thoughts form your thought-life, and your thought-life shapes your character and personality. Your prayers form your prayer-life, and your prayer-life will cleanse your thoughts. Therefore, learn to pray often by simply turning your heart to God and worshipping Him, especially when you are alone.
God found an Enoch who walked with Him in the dawn of history (Gen. 5:24). He found a Noah, “a just man and perfect,” when “all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth” (Gen. 6:9-12). Certainly we are living in similar times. Has God called you to be an Enoch in your generation? Or a Noah? A flood of lawless lifestyles is covering the earth, but you may find your refuge in the ark that is Jesus Christ, and firmly believe that the Holy Spirit will lead you into all truth.
When the Lord Jesus Christ taught about marriage, he started with Adam and Eve. Let us also start where He did. Marriage was God’s idea, and God’s design, for mankind. Sex was God’s idea, and God’s design, for mankind. God, therefore, is the lawgiver concerning marriage and sex. Please acknowledge this in your heart, and confess accordingly to God. If you begin here, you shall be blessed from beginning to end. Not that you will not be tested; just the contrary. The purest joy and hardest testing are wedded to each other in the ways of our God; and to such a life we are called.
God made one — only one — woman for Adam. God made one — only one — man for Eve. May this simple but great truth be planted in your heart; and may you thus come into harmony with God, and His eternal purpose for you. Keep your heart and mind and body unspoiled for the Lord’s sake, and for blessed fellowship with your future spouse.
What is the secret of faithfulness in single life? Read 1. Cor. 7:34-35. Paul counsels virgins (or unmarried persons) to attend upon the Lord. An unmarried person is to be concerned about the things of the Lord that he or she may be holy both in body and spirit. Newer and newer forms of openly lawless lifestyles are covering the earth; a flood of literature, music, and entertainment designed to corrupt young minds is pouring in. What shall we do? Remember Joseph, read Genesis chapter 39. Joseph fled from the woman who tempted him. Just imagine the ruin had he not fled! “Flee also youthful lusts,” wrote the aged Paul to young Timothy in the last letter he wrote while waiting to be martyred. You who are reading this may be a Joseph or a Timothy. Let not this exhortation slip. Remember Daniel, read Daniel 1:8. Daniel purposed in his heart not to defile himself with the royal food. Would you be a Daniel in the present age? Learn to have precious moments of prayer alone with the Lord. These few moments count for eternity, so don’t rush them. Ask the Lord for correction, as Jeremiah did (Jer. 10:24). Ask the Lord to search you, as the Psalmist did in Psa. 139:23,24. Desiring correction is a mark of being a true son. Small things are the big things that make the difference in our fellowship with God. Small sins tolerated knowingly break our fellowship with God. Conversely, faithfulness in small things pleases the Lord immensely (Luke 16:10).
How may teenage boys and girls receive help from their parents? Sit down and talk to your mother frequently, and listen very closely to what she has to say; don’t rush. Your mother’s word is law — teaching — for you. See Prov. 1:8 and 6:20. Ask your mother to pray for you. Promise her that you will follow her advice. Also, take time to talk to your father from time to time; don’t rush. Let him know you esteem his counsel; God will bless you with long life, and it will go well with you. One special note for girls: Ask your mother to teach you the message of 1 Peter 3:4. This verse speaks of a special treasure for you, “the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” How may young men and women receive help from parents? You are never too old to need your parents’ counsel. Seek out the guidance of your parents as long as they live. Take time to talk to them and listen to them unhurriedly. God will speak to you through your parents. Ask them to pray for you. Read a mother’s advice to her son in Prov. 31:2-5. This is a mother’s teaching on purity.
What if your parents are not Christians? There is much to be learned, especially in practical matters, even from non-Christian parents. Ask the Spirit to help you receive from them what is right, and reverence them even when you cannot follow their advice exactly.
Are there words of caution for teenagers? Friendship between girls and boys should be guarded in the fear of God, and free of emotional overtones. Physical contact or intimate conversation between boys and girls, though seemingly playful and innocent, could easily lead to emotional problems. Secret, private, intimate sharing of thoughts and ideas between a boy and a girl, or between a man and a woman, is seldom free from defilement. Internet chat has destroyed not a few. Please read Prov. 4:14-15. If you would not eat of the forbidden tree, don’t go by it; avoid it, pass not by it. This truth was impressed upon me in my youth by an esteemed spiritual guide of mine (M. Aruldhas, Trivandrum, India; now with the Lord). I am most thankful to him.&nbs
p; Read Prov. 4:23. What you watch on television or videos is fastened onto your memory and your being, as food is assimilated in your body. Be warned, and flee from programs that feed the flesh. Let Jesus cleanse the temple — your heart — and live there as Lord.
How may you be led by God in finding a spouse? Rebecca was at work when Abraham’s servant first met her. Rachel was at work when Jacob first met her. Ruth was at work when Boaz first saw her. What is the message here? Sons, daughters, devote yourselves to the work God has given you. Keep on doing good. In due time you shall reap (Gal.6:9). Good will come your way. While you are at work for God, He is at work for you. God is faithful. The life of service will prepare you for your life-partner. There may be waiting, and your patience may be tried, but the gift of God will be the sweeter for the waiting. Adam was asleep when God formed his wife for him! Please read Prov. 19:14. May your thoughts come to rest in God.
Ask for counsel from parents, and from older brethren who have wisdom. Read Genesis chapter 24, especially verses 63-65. Abraham took the initiative in seeking a wife for his son. Parents can help. Isaac was meditating in the field when his bride was brought to him from the far country. Rebecca, as soon as she saw Isaac coming toward her to meet her, dismounted from the camel, took her veil and covered herself. Please reflect on the lessons from this first meeting between Isaac and Rebecca. Isaac is a picture of piety, and Rebecca, of modesty.
[NOTE FOR READERS IN THE EAST: 1. The parental role as it is practiced in the East is a special blessing, provided it maintains the freedom of the bride and the bridegroom to make the final decision having sought the will of God. Sons and daughters would do well to benefit from the caring guidance of the parents and other members of the family, as well as from the advice of the overseers in the Church.
2. The dowry system as it is practiced in the East is often a painful humiliation for the bride and her family. If you are seeking the bride whom God has prepared for you, then sincerely renounce the desire for money and wealth as part of the marriage. The bride is the wealth (Prov. 31:10).] Are there words of caution for young men and women considering marriage? Know that marriage is not a contract modifiable by man but a covenant of your God (Prov. 2:17) to be kept at the cost of life. Please read Jesus’ words in Matt. 5:32 and Luke 16:18. Here we have the case of a woman unjustly divorced, and is therefore innocent. The remarriage of such an innocent woman would result in an adulterous union. By these few simple words Jesus has answered for us most of the excuses for divorce and remarriage. Be instructed and warned about divorce as well as marrying a divorcee.
One special point, especially for men: Put off marriage until you have prepared yourselves for the responsibilities of married life. Seek guidance from your parents, and from the elders in the church who “watch for your souls” (Heb. 13:17). Take time to equip yourselves to serve God and to serve your fellow man. With God’s Word in your heart, and your hands skilled in work, you will be useful to both God and man.
How may I make a beginning today on the way of purity? Remember Jesus Christ. He offered His body to do the will of God. Tempted in all points like us in a flesh (nature) like ours, He humbled Himself, denied Himself, and learned obedience through suffering (Heb. 5:8). We suffer in the flesh when we say “no” to our own will, and “yes” to God’s will; and through such suffering we learn obedience. In this walk of suffering the Lord Jesus Christ comes to our aid, and we have fellowship with Him. (Heb. 2:18.) We follow the footsteps of our Lord. He gives us grace, and leads us by His Spirit. In simple faith, turn your heart to God often as you go through your daily routine. You will be borne along by the Spirit of God through trials, and led to the work that God has prepared for you daily.
Concerning Courtship Among the Disciples of Jesus Christ [There is some repetition in this section from the proceeding section – this was intended for completeness.] Please read Prov. 19:14: “…a prudent wife is from the Lord.” In the previous chapter (Prov. 18:22) we read that a wife is the “favour of the Lord.”
God brings about the appropriate circumstances for you to meet your future spouse. Look to the Lord and commit your thoughts to Him. God may use others to help you and guide you. Rebecca was at work when God led Abraham’s servant to her. Rachel was at work when Jacob first met her. Ruth was at work when Boaz first saw her. What is the message here? Young disciples of Jesus Christ, devote yourselves to the work God has given you. Keep on doing good. In due time you shall reap as we read in Gal. 6:9. Good will come your way. While you are at work for God, He is at work for you. God is faithful. The life of service will prepare you for your life-partner. There may be waiting, and your patience may be tried, but the gift of God will be the sweeter for the waiting.
Adam was asleep when God formed his wife for him! May your thoughts come to rest in God. Abraham took the initiative in seeking a wife for his son. Abraham’s servant, when he met Rebecca, told her nothing about marriage. He waited until he came into her house. And her
brother and father, after hearing about Isaac, said, “The thing proceedeth from the Lord” (Gen. 24:50).
Isaac was meditating in the field when his bride was brought to him from the far country. Rebecca, as soon as she saw Isaac coming toward her to meet her, dismounted from the camel, took her veil and covered herself. Please reflect on the lessons from this first meeting between
Other Lessons in Christian Family
- Christian Family, Free Online Correspondence Course Introduction
- Christian Family, Free Online Correspondence Course Lesson 1
- Christian Family, Free Online Correspondence Course Lesson 2
- Christian Family, Free Online Correspondence Course Lesson 3
- Christian Family, Free Online Correspondence Course Lesson 4
- Christian Family, Free Online Correspondence Course Lesson -- 6
- Christian Family, Free Online Correspondence Course Lesson -- 7
- Christian Family, Free Online Correspondence Course Lesson -- 8
- Christian Family, Free Online Correspondence Course Lesson -- 9
- Christian Family, Free Online Correspondence Course Historical Notes
- Christian Family, Free Course, Tests