Christian Family, Free Online Correspondence Course Lesson — 5

If You Are Single 

If You are Young, Single, and Seeking a Spouse  I write these words as a father, and as an older Christian writing for the  younger. Please read these words with all diligence, and look to God for
the pure wisdom that comes from Him only. “Even a child (young  person) is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it  be right” (Prov. 20:11). Your actions as a teenager and as a young  person point to the direction your life is heading. The thoughts you  think leave their mark on your being; so read God’s Word slowly and  often to be filled with pure thoughts. The words you speak leave their  mark on your being; so meditate on God’s Word constantly to speak  words of grace. The deeds you do leave their mark on your being; so  keep God’s Word in your heart for power to do good and shun all sin.  Such thoughts, words and deeds will guide the direction of your life.  You will be filled with the Holy Spirit and be led by Him. 

When the Holy Spirit leads you, He leads you into the battle, and  through the battle. (Matt. 4:1) What is the battle? The battle is for your  thought-life, a battle against evil thoughts. “Keep your heart with all  diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life” (Prov. 4:23, New King  James Version). When your thoughts are pure, your words and deeds  will be pure. Your thoughts form your thought-life, and your thought-life shapes your character and personality. Your prayers form your  prayer-life, and your prayer-life will cleanse your thoughts. Therefore,  learn to pray often by simply turning your heart to God and worshipping  Him, especially when you are alone. 

God found an Enoch who walked with Him in the dawn of history (Gen.  5:24). He found a Noah, “a just man and perfect,” when “all flesh had  corrupted his way upon the earth” (Gen. 6:9-12). Certainly we are living  in similar times. Has God called you to be an Enoch in your generation?  Or a Noah? A flood of lawless lifestyles is covering the earth, but you  may find your refuge in the ark that is Jesus Christ, and firmly believe  that the Holy Spirit will lead you into all truth. 

When the Lord Jesus Christ taught about marriage, he started with Adam  and Eve. Let us also start where He did. Marriage was God’s idea, and  God’s design, for mankind. Sex was God’s idea, and God’s design, for  mankind. God, therefore, is the lawgiver concerning marriage and sex.  Please acknowledge this in your heart, and confess accordingly to God.  If you begin here, you shall be blessed from beginning to end. Not that  you will not be tested; just the contrary. The purest joy and hardest  testing are wedded to each other in the ways of our God; and to such a  life we are called. 

God made one — only one — woman for Adam. God made one — only one —  man for Eve. May this simple but great truth be planted in your heart;  and may you thus come into harmony with God, and His eternal purpose  for you. Keep your heart and mind and body unspoiled for the Lord’s  sake, and for blessed fellowship with your future spouse. 

What is the secret of faithfulness in single life? Read 1. Cor. 7:34-35.  Paul counsels virgins (or unmarried persons) to attend upon the Lord.  An unmarried person is to be concerned about the things of the Lord that  he or she may be holy both in body and spirit. Newer and newer forms  of openly lawless lifestyles are covering the earth; a flood of literature,  music, and entertainment designed to corrupt young minds is pouring in.  What shall we do? Remember Joseph, read Genesis chapter 39. Joseph  fled from the woman who tempted him. Just imagine the ruin had he not  fled! “Flee also youthful lusts,” wrote the aged Paul to young Timothy in  the last letter he wrote while waiting to be martyred. You who are  reading this may be a Joseph or a Timothy. Let not this exhortation slip.  Remember Daniel, read Daniel 1:8. Daniel purposed in his heart not to  defile himself with the royal food. Would you be a Daniel in the present  age? Learn to have precious moments of prayer alone with the Lord.  These few moments count for eternity, so don’t rush them. Ask the Lord  for correction, as Jeremiah did (Jer. 10:24). Ask the Lord to search you, as the Psalmist did in Psa. 139:23,24. Desiring correction is a mark of  being a true son. Small things are the big things that make the difference  in our fellowship with God. Small sins tolerated knowingly break our  fellowship with God. Conversely, faithfulness in small things pleases the  Lord immensely (Luke 16:10). 

How may teenage boys and girls receive help from their parents? Sit  down and talk to your mother frequently, and listen very closely to what  she has to say; don’t rush. Your mother’s word is law — teaching — for  you. See Prov. 1:8 and 6:20. Ask your mother to pray for you. Promise  her that you will follow her advice. Also, take time to talk to your father  from time to time; don’t rush. Let him know you esteem his counsel;  God will bless you with long life, and it will go well with you. One  special note for girls: Ask your mother to teach you the message of 1  Peter 3:4. This verse speaks of a special treasure for you, “the ornament  of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”  How may young men and women receive help from parents? You  are never too old to need your parents’ counsel. Seek out the guidance of  your parents as long as they live. Take time to talk to them and listen to  them unhurriedly. God will speak to you through your parents. Ask them  to pray for you. Read a mother’s advice to her son in Prov. 31:2-5. This  is a mother’s teaching on purity. 

What if your parents are not Christians? There is much to be learned,  especially in practical matters, even from non-Christian parents. Ask the  Spirit to help you receive from them what is right, and reverence them  even when you cannot follow their advice exactly. 

Are there words of caution for teenagers? Friendship between girls  and boys should be guarded in the fear of God, and free of emotional  overtones. Physical contact or intimate conversation between boys and  girls, though seemingly playful and innocent, could easily lead to  emotional problems. Secret, private, intimate sharing of thoughts and  ideas between a boy and a girl, or between a man and a woman, is  seldom free from defilement. Internet chat has destroyed not a few.  Please read Prov. 4:14-15. If you would not eat of the forbidden tree,  don’t go by it; avoid it, pass not by it. This truth was impressed upon me  in my youth by an esteemed spiritual guide of mine (M. Aruldhas,  Trivandrum, India; now with the Lord). I am most thankful to him.&nbs
p; Read Prov. 4:23. What you watch on television or videos is fastened  onto your memory and your being, as food is assimilated in your body.  Be warned, and flee from programs that feed the flesh. Let Jesus cleanse  the temple — your heart — and live there as Lord. 

How may you be led by God in finding a spouse? Rebecca was at  work when Abraham’s servant first met her. Rachel was at work when  Jacob first met her. Ruth was at work when Boaz first saw her. What is  the message here? Sons, daughters, devote yourselves to the work God  has given you. Keep on doing good. In due time you shall reap (Gal.6:9).  Good will come your way. While you are at work for God, He is at work  for you. God is faithful. The life of service will prepare you for your  life-partner. There may be waiting, and your patience may be tried, but  the gift of God will be the sweeter for the waiting. Adam was asleep  when God formed his wife for him! Please read Prov. 19:14. May your  thoughts come to rest in God. 

Ask for counsel from parents, and from older brethren who have  wisdom. Read Genesis chapter 24, especially verses 63-65. Abraham  took the initiative in seeking a wife for his son. Parents can help. Isaac  was meditating in the field when his bride was brought to him from the  far country. Rebecca, as soon as she saw Isaac coming toward her to  meet her, dismounted from the camel, took her veil and covered herself.  Please reflect on the lessons from this first meeting between Isaac and  Rebecca. Isaac is a picture of piety, and Rebecca, of modesty. 

[NOTE FOR READERS IN THE EAST: 1. The parental role as it is  practiced in the East is a special blessing, provided it maintains the  freedom of the bride and the bridegroom to make the final decision  having sought the will of God. Sons and daughters would do well to  benefit from the caring guidance of the parents and other members of the  family, as well as from the advice of the overseers in the Church. 

2. The  dowry system as it is practiced in the East is often a painful humiliation  for the bride and her family. If you are seeking the bride whom God has  prepared for you, then sincerely renounce the desire for money and  wealth as part of the marriage. The bride is the wealth (Prov. 31:10).]  Are there words of caution for young men and women considering  marriage? Know that marriage is not a contract modifiable by man but  a covenant of your God (Prov. 2:17) to be kept at the cost of life. Please  read Jesus’ words in Matt. 5:32 and Luke 16:18. Here we have the case  of a woman unjustly divorced, and is therefore innocent. The remarriage  of such an innocent woman would result in an adulterous union. By  these few simple words Jesus has answered for us most of the excuses  for divorce and remarriage. Be instructed and warned about divorce as  well as marrying a divorcee. 

One special point, especially for men: Put off marriage until you have  prepared yourselves for the responsibilities of married life. Seek  guidance from your parents, and from the elders in the church who  “watch for your souls” (Heb. 13:17). Take time to equip yourselves to  serve God and to serve your fellow man. With God’s Word in your  heart, and your hands skilled in work, you will be useful to both God  and man. 

How may I make a beginning today on the way of purity? Remember  Jesus Christ. He offered His body to do the will of God. Tempted in all  points like us in a flesh (nature) like ours, He humbled Himself, denied  Himself, and learned obedience through suffering (Heb. 5:8). We suffer  in the flesh when we say “no” to our own will, and “yes” to God’s will;  and through such suffering we learn obedience. In this walk of suffering  the Lord Jesus Christ comes to our aid, and we have fellowship with  Him. (Heb. 2:18.) We follow the footsteps of our Lord. He gives us  grace, and leads us by His Spirit. In simple faith, turn your heart to God  often as you go through your daily routine. You will be borne along by  the Spirit of God through trials, and led to the work that God has  prepared for you daily. 

Concerning Courtship Among the Disciples of Jesus Christ  [There is some repetition in this section from the proceeding  section – this was intended for completeness.]  Please read Prov. 19:14: “…a prudent wife is from the Lord.” In the  previous chapter (Prov. 18:22) we read that a wife is the “favour of the  Lord.” 

God brings about the appropriate circumstances for you to meet your  future spouse. Look to the Lord and commit your thoughts to Him. God  may use others to help you and guide you. Rebecca was at work when  God led Abraham’s servant to her. Rachel was at work when Jacob first  met her. Ruth was at work when Boaz first saw her. What is the message  here? Young disciples of Jesus Christ, devote yourselves to the work  God has given you. Keep on doing good. In due time you shall reap as  we read in Gal. 6:9. Good will come your way. While you are at work  for God, He is at work for you. God is faithful. The life of service will  prepare you for your life-partner. There may be waiting, and your  patience may be tried, but the gift of God will be the sweeter for the  waiting. 

Adam was asleep when God formed his wife for him! May your  thoughts come to rest in God. Abraham took the initiative in seeking a  wife for his son. Abraham’s servant, when he met Rebecca, told her  nothing about marriage. He waited until he came into her house. And her
brother and father, after hearing about Isaac, said, “The thing proceedeth  from the Lord” (Gen. 24:50). 

Isaac was meditating in the field when his bride was brought to him  from the far country. Rebecca, as soon as she saw Isaac coming toward  her to meet her, dismounted from the camel, took her veil and covered  herself. Please reflect on the lessons from this first meeting between